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Though I love my mixer, it’s not always convenient. Rather, I should say, sometimes I’m lazy. Like, when I make mashed potatoes on a Tuesday night.

So while I was at the grocery story last weekend, I grabbed a cheap potato masher to use on those lazy-potato-mashing-days. When the cashier picked up the masher, she inspected it like it was a deflated alien head.

“Man!” she screamed. “I haven’t seen anybody buy one of these in … well, forever!”

Sorry, Cashier Lady, I couldn’t find the iPad aisle, so I just grabbed this ancient technology, which I’m going to use to build my own private pyramid with in an ancient land far away.

Her response made me feel like I was buying some floppy discs and a Commodore 64. I mean, come on, I just wanted some mashed potatoes — and a little bicep exercise. Is that too much to ask for in 2011?

Add this to your to-do list: read White Reeboks Rednecks Wear.  It’s serious … -ly funny.  Do it.  I think it could possibly end up on the tables of Urban Outfitters, right next to the overpriced (insert apparel item) … which I will probably buy two weeks later, right after I bitch about how overpriced they are.  Yeah, that’s how it works. 

In other news, I love South Florida — apparently, so do a lot of rich and famous folks.  Celebrities, athletes and musicians, OH MY!  And you thought they only came to Miami.  Wrong.  Tiger Woods – check.  Vanilla Ice – check.  Rudy Giuliani – check.  Check out the celeb South Floridian homeowners on this map.

It’s that time.  Season, as those in the restaurant world might say.  The birds are back.  Not these birds, fortunately, rather the South Florida Birds.  The white-haired, Estee Lauder-perfume-smelling birds.  The birds that forget to use their blinker and tend to always ride in the left lane.  Yes.  Those birds.  They’re not all bad birds, of course. 

JP propsed the question, “Would you pledge to never visit New York, if that meant one person (i.e., snowbird) couldn’t come to Florida in the winter?”  Since I’ve already been to New York, and the only person I know who lives there doesn’t live there anymore (NYGirl4EVA moved to Jersey! Ha!), I think my answer might be … yes?

In any event, the birds are also a sign of good things — holiday cheer, colorful lights, fattening foodstuffs, Publix commercials that make me cry.  The usual suspects.  With Thanksgiving over, it’s just a hop-skip away until Christmas … then NYE … then JP’s birthday ….  The pah-tay never stops, huh?

Dear Bed Bath & Beyond,

I can’t help but want to shop at your locales.  Your selection of cutting boards, egg slicers, throw pillows and towel racks is vast.  In your store, I’m forced to ponder questions like, “Do I need a silicone whisk and a stainless steel whisk?” and “Would I use an egg ring, to get those perfectly round poached eggs?”  The answer is more often than not, no.  Nevertheless, Bed Bath & Beyond, you make me think!

Lately, however, I’m thinking  you’re not quite in touch with reality.  Or maybe it’s me.  But, I hope it’s the first.  Specifically, your ads for college supplies seem, well, a bit … over-the-top?  See picture below. 

Really, Bed Bath & Beyond? 

Do parents really have the money to make their college kid’s dorm look like an HGTV host threw up on it?  Are lava lamps still cool?  And those fresh, clean walls?  (My dorm walls were of the gruel-colored, faux-brick type.  I could barely get ticky tack to stick to them ensuring my Madonna poster stayed put.) 

Wondering in West Palm,

CP

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