Dear Humidity,

Hey!  How’s it going?  Here, well, it’s just so dry without you.  I mean, at first your absence was so nice.  Freeze-free hair, low anticipation of heatstroke, t-shirts not sticking to every crevice of my body because of glue-like sweat.  That’s all great, really.  Oh, and let’s not forget walking outdoors without being forced to remember that some of us haven’t discovered antiperspirant.

But, absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.  It’s been weeks of sheer dryness here in this winter weather.  There was one time last week when I went running and had to stop because the air was so dry.  How am I supposed to stay fit when there’s not enough moisture in the air to help me breathe properly?  If I get fat, can I sue?  Who is the face of Mother Nature?  And, I’m like, evolving into part alligator in this environment.  No, not even the Nivea helps.  Oh, and I can’t even imagine the state my lips would be in if I hadn’t remembered to stock up on Burt’s Bees lip balm.  You know what I miss most?  When I walk out of an air-conditioned building and into your hot, Humid arms – that moment when you take my breath away.  It’s heartstopping, literally.  But, oh, the adrenaline rush as soon as that first breath comes back!  Whew!   

Well, now I’m just drinking a lot of water to try and combat the dry air, but it’s an opponent stronger than you can imagine.  Besides, I’m just wasting half my day running to the bathroom.  I also cut my shower time in half and stopped using so much hot water.  Actually, that’s probably just a result of the tiny-ass water heater in my crib.

Anywho, my point is, Humidity, I miss you.  I hope you come back soon – even if it’s just for a quick hello.

Advertisements